So You Think You Can Buy A House

Friday, June 25, we were supposed to be closing on this house.  After fighting over repairs and permits and threatening to walk away, jumping through loan hoops and getting the big okay from the underwriter, the keys to this should've been in our hot little hands.  But alas, they are still not.  We have been given a new closing date of July 30th.  Why it is taking 2 months to work out the issues with the city is beyond me.  We drove past it today and saw, not only the zero amount of work they have done in regards to repairs, but they have also shut off the water, letting the grass die.  I just wanted to cry as we drove away.  When I first saw this house, I fell in love.  It was the most perfect little starter home for us.  We were under contract within 24 hours of seeing it.  It seemed like it was just meant to be.  Since then it has been one aggravation after another.  My realtor wants me to believe that none of our problems are that big of a deal and that this sort of stuff is all very normal, but I hardly believe this sort of thing happens everyday.

Problem one- I found unpermitted work.  Not the inspector, not the appraiser, not the listing agent- me.  This could've cost me my loan and my home owners insurance.  And I was asked to look the other way.  When I refused the sellers said they would rather relist it than fix it.  So I turned them into the city, forcing the issue of repair.  They then tried to pin the cost of these repairs on me.  These are the people that did the damage in the first place (they claim they weren't the ones that did it, but I am guessing they were at least privy to it)!  Why should I pay for their mistakes?  And why should anyone else.  These people clearly lack character.

Problem two- the ever changing closing date.  May 27th.  June 25th.   July 30th.  WTF?  I am in closing date limbo!  Can they really keep pushing back the date like this?  Shouldn't this be illegal?  And why isn't my agent angry on my behalf?  When she called to tell me that the new closing was July 30 (now 120 days out from the date we went under contract) she was genuinely surprised that I was upset.  Really?  Would every other home buyer in the world take that news with a smile on their face?  I have a hard time believing that. Maybe if this were a short sale- but this is a regular sale, I am paying pretty much asking price, and all closing costs. 

Problem three- absolutely nothing has been done to the house.  The permit problems were found over a month ago and they still haven't done anything to rectify it.  And I am supposed to feel confident that July 30th will be the last time we circle a date on the calendar and mark it "closing?" 

Maybe it is my fault for not finding the permit issues sooner.  But how would a first time homebuyer know to look for that stuff?  I would've thought that sort of thing would've come up in an inspection or appraisal.  I guess it truly is buyer beware.  Maybe this is my fault for holding on to the house so tight and not being willing to walk away.  But I really felt like this was meant to be our home and I felt a bit conned by the sellers for trying to hide so many flaws.  Even if I did walk away it would've killed me to think of some other buyer taking on so many problems without even knowing it.  I still would've called the city to turn them in- just for the sheer fact that they tried to sell me the big fat lie of "the city doesn't care about unpermitted work..."  Yes they do, that is why you have to get permits for stuff.  Plus, what if my lender had found out months or years down the road that this was kept from them?  They could call in the loan immediately, which would ruin us and cost us the house and all we had invested in it.  Gah!  I just wish I had never laid eyes on that stupid house.  And I hope I never have to meet the sellers.  I am not sure whether we will end up in this house or not at this point.  I am very close to consulting a lawyer, which seems crazy in something so routine as buying a house.  But something about this whole thing isn't ringing true for me.  And I am not a real estate expert, but it seems like it ought to be against some sort of law for sellers to put buyers into a never ending holding pattern of one closing date after another.  I get it now why some people rent forever.  I have ulcers and acne and nightmares over this.  Is this really what it means to be ahome buyer?  And if so, why does anyone bother?  Any insight anyone might have will be appreciated!

So You Think You Can Have Your Marine Back

James returned from Afghani-a-go-go-land on May 29th.  We spent the three day weekend in Salt Lake City, anticipating that he would have to report back to Camp Williams for work on Tuesday.  We were pleasantly surprised to learn that he wouldn't have to report back until today.  So I got my husband for a blissful 5 days before I had to say goodbye to him.  He'll be back for the weekend, be gone next week and then finally be home for good.  It's almost cruel though, the back and forth.  And it is funny that no matter whether it is 7 months or 7 days or even just 7 hours, I still miss him terribly.  Life is just better when I am sharing it with him.  And apparently I've become a sap.  Whatever, I've earned the right to wax sentimental on occassion. 

I am not going to sugar coat or beat around the bush or be vague.  This deployment really beat me up emotionally and I suspect the same holds true for my husband.  I am so grateful that not only did he come home, but he came home relatively unscathed.  It was hard knowing that he was in dangerous situations and it was incredibly hard to trust the Corps to take care of him.  Especially when sometimes their actions indicated that decision making, even simple ones, was beyond their grasp.  It was a lot to ask of the Marines, and it was a lot to ask of their families.  And then March came and it got even harder.  Everytime I see Olsen's face or hear his name, that terrible week he died comes back to me in a rush and I want to just throw up knowing how easily that could've been James.  And I can't even begin to fathom what it was like for James.  The greatest thing about a deployment is putting it behind you, forgetting it even happened.  But when it ends up being one like this one, I suspect it haunts you.  I am so ready to try to shake it off, but I know it will take time. 

There is so much I want to put down into words about what it really felt like to go through this experience, but I just can't seem to articulate it in a way that would do it justice.  I felt types of fear and pain and love and pride that I have never felt before.  Maybe things seemed heightened because I was a mom this time, or because this deployment was a lot more dangerous than the last.  Maybe it was just because I had already done it once before and I just couldn't see myself making it through another one.  I just don't know.  But I do know that this is pretty much over.  It feels like a million pounds have been lifted off of me.  The world is starting to have color again.  I no longer count the hours after news of a casualty, wondering if dress blues will show up at my door, or at the door of a friend.  I no longer feel chained to my phone, wondering if the long periods between calls is merely happenstance or because I am about to learn they are river city- which is no longer just a communication status for me, but almost a state of mind where no news is good news, the happy period just before bad news is given.  Slowly but surely life will return to normal, or whatever we can work out normal to be.