So You Think You Can Marine Wife

10/30/09: Journal entry. Well it begins at last. About half an hour ago the plane took off, as we left the ground, I looked outside and wondered if I'll ever see the US again.....L Cpl Nigel Olsen

On Oct 30, 2009, Charlie Co of the 4th LAR Battalion left for war torn Afghanistan. LCpl Olsen recorded the event in his journal and pondered what the future held. On March 4, 2010, while attempting to apprehend suspects in an IED explosion that had killed LCpl Aragon of Charlie Co just 3 days before, LCpl Olsen got his answer. He would never see the US again, but rather he would return to it in a flag-draped coffin, escorted to his final resting place.

It was a week that left me reeling. There were conflicting reports, so little information. I didn't even know what platoon these guys belonged to. I didn't know what was going on with James, where he was or if he had been at either event. I felt helpless and alone. I could do nothing but cry and try to keep it together. Deployments force one to operate on a "it can't happen to me" basis. But when it hits so close it brings you jarringly into reality. It can happen. It does happen.

It is in these moments, the ones that absolutely break me, that I wonder if I can do it. Can I be the wife of a Marine, the wife of someone who gets paid to flirt with land mines and IEDs and the occassional suicide bomber? Can I get through this, can James? In a few short weeks we will have our answers.